The BS Files #12

How I met my man.

I was separated and heartbroken. My husband had left me 3 months prior. I was depressed and mad and everything in between. My cousin was having a country ass bonfire party at her house in the next town over and I did NOT want to go. 

She is the closest to a sibling I have so when she said “Get your ass out here” I did just that. I hadn’t been there long and I noticed this young good-looking hottie pull up in a Chevy. Of course, I acted like I didn’t notice but he immediately caught my eye in his jeans and denim shirt. I can still remember the moment. 

Not long after he had been there, I walked by him and he pulled me down onto his lap and said “Hey little mama, I think you’re going to be mine.” I said, “I am way too old for you.” And got up and walked away. He didn’t stop there. He tried all night, and I liked it. 

I am not a drinker and my cousin knew it. She “forced” a couple of shots in me and it didn’t take long for the young hunk to say “You don’t look so good.” Next thing you know I’m in the bathroom puking my fucking guts up. As Mike was standing there trying to help me, I had the audacity to say “I hope you’re not hanging around thinking I’m going to sleep with you.” 

He responded fairly with  “Not interested.”

I woke up the next day and decided to go canoeing with my kids and some friends. I called Mike and asked him to come. He said he was hungover and chilling. I was persistent and said “get off your ass and come.” He did. 

We were pretty much inseparable after that day until we weren’t. It got serious quickly and he made me laugh so much. I felt young and alive again. He made me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet.

I did tell Mike I was still in love with my ex. That I was heartbroken and could never love him like that. He replied with, “You don’t love him, you just think you do, you will love me.”

Then my ex got word of “I heard you’re hanging out with a kid.” He wanted me back and when he called, like a dumbass, I went running. I broke it off with Mike. We had been hanging out for a couple of months at the time. He was shattered. 

Mike actually stormed into our house ready to fight for the love of his life. He called out my ex and went after him. I had to force Mike to leave. 

He was a brave little fucker, and deep down, I Ioved that shit.

Fast forward only a few weeks and I caught my ex with another woman. That’s probably another whole story because I lost my ever loving mind and almost went to jail. The first person I called was Mike. I was ashamed and bawling my eyes out. That should have been my sign that he was who I wanted to talk to first. He was my friend before anything else. 

He immediately showed up to my house to hold me while I cried myself to sleep. I felt so fucking stupid for ever giving my ex another chance. It opened up all of my wounds again and I was back to square one. 

I started hanging out with Mike again but I was so screwed up mentally that I flip-flopped. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and the age gap, which was 12 years, bothered me terribly. 

I broke it off with him several times and  I’d go out with other people and every single time he’d confront whoever I went out with trying to fight them. He knew me well enough to know I “can’t be with a pussy” so he made sure I knew what they were. It worked. I didn’t hang with anyone long. Keep in mind in the meantime, he would do things for my kids while we were broke up. He never went away. He never gave up. He was sort of insane and stalker-ish. I hated it and loved it at the same time because let’s face it, I’m insane.

I’d always go back to Mike. We did that song a dance a few times. Then one day, on the last break we had, a client of mine said “One day, you’re going to push him away one too many times and he won’t come back.” All of my clients adored Mike. They knew he was crazy good to me. Her words woke me up. 

I went and found Mike that day and told him that I couldn’t see my life without him in it. That was 4 years into our crazy relationship. Six months later, we were married. 

We are approaching our 13th wedding anniversary in a month and our relationship is almost 18 years in. He was right. I didn’t truly love my ex and I did fall in love with Mike. It wasn’t instant,  it grew into a love that will last a lifetime. He is my everything.

He changed my world. He earned my kids respect and mine. He fought for what he wanted and got it. He is an amazing husband, step-dad, and Poppy. I won the lottery with Mike. 

I am so thankful for the betrayal of my ex. He did me the biggest favor. He helped me move on and without that, I would have never met my lifelong partner. 

I love Mike even more today than the day I married him. 

When life looks the darkest, it is often preparing you for the brightest light to come. Everything can change in one moment. 

Keep looking forward. 

xoxo,

B